What an odd topic, am I right? Isn’t it pretty straight forward on what is fantasy and what is reality? When we were young, it was a little difficult to know what was real and what wasn’t. But we have come a long way, haven’t we? We make plans for the future, look into college and career, think about marriage and kids. We have grown up!
But somehow, we seem to revert back to being young and fantasizing about our reality, sometimes even confusing the two.
Our heads are filled with movie romance, books, music, things that cloud our judgment. Life isn’t like the movies with lollipops and rainbows. Romance doesn’t come easy. Marriage is hard work. College isn’t just an experience to be had; there are responsibilities and work to be done to get an education.
Then there’s sex – it’s hard to be into an intimate moment when you are thinking of the reality of STDs and pregnancy, or simply wondering if he/she will stay with me. What about the movies and how they depict it? A one-night stand looks so easy and good on the big screen. Reality is that we don’t get the full story; there are always consequences. Trying to live in a movie fantasy is both dangerous and disappointing.
Fantasy teaches us: if it isn’t perfect, find better.
This type of thinking leads us to unnecessary heartbreak, unrealistic expectations, and/or divorce.
Reality teaches us: no one is perfect, and our lives won’t be either.
If we see things through these lenses, we know relationships and marriage last longer with forgiveness and kindness. Our lives can be filled with great love and memories when we remain in reality!
Don’t compare your life to fantasies the world presents, it just blurs the lines. Choose to live in reality with far less anxiety, fear, and heartbreak.
By Karen G., Director of Operations at The Resource Center in Greeley, CO